sleepless dream

i try hard to forget her even though i know i not even trying...its hard and takes time for me to accept her just as friend and not more than that...having my family by my side really helps me to realize the path i took and i know something precious just flew away from my life...its just another chapter of my life that have past..it will be some memory that i cherish and hope i won't forget for sometimes...or perhaps forever...
 
for now she will be friend..hopefully then she will my life partner...
 
now i do doubt my feeling towards her...i don't know if i can say i love her again when that time come...i just don't know...
 
thats all...


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i have been rejected

so much to say but still i'm speechless as always....last friday had leaved a mark in my life..i've done something that i can't even believe its really me who do it...that evening i went to flower store to get some flower for her because i've decided to tell her my feeling that night...but i have to wait too long because she still slumber that evening...when she awaken, i came quickly hoping that i won't fluttered when i tell her my feeling...but everything just went all the way around...there i stand in front of her with a boutique of roses in my hand trynig hard to tell her how much i loved her...all i can hear she said was, "sorry but i can't accept this"...i felt really down...then she take a breath and ask me to sit with her and have a talk...we sat on pond wall talking about how we fell for each other...it turns out that everything that happened,everything that showed me hope of her care for me is just my misinterpret...its all just misunderstood...but i know now that she just not ready yet for a relation....i respect her decision and accept it heartly...the talk over and i drove home brokenhearted...
 
that night i played futsal to release my frustration...i'm so tired and so sick of this feeling that i have to endure alone in my heart...sometimes it hurts me so deep that i felt like crying...but still i am who i am...I AM FATE...THIS AIN'T OVER!...
i'll never give up on her until i found someone else better then she is...but i don't think there is one...
 
thats all...


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