I only tell once

I feel so tired for the past couple days. I woke up this morning and I feels like I wanna cry so bad but didn't know for what. I held my tears in because its weird to cry for nothing. Assuming I'm gonna screw up something later, I woke up lazy. I don't have the mood to do anything.

Its end of the year for 2010. So much memory of this year I treasured. Every end of years I wish I could go back in time and right things out. It never been granted.
*****************So long 2010***************
****************Welcome 2011*****************

I hope this new year will come with more luck and girls!! lol

thats all..

Lost in time

I should have dressed for work right now but here I am trying to sketch something with nothing in my head. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to write anymore.
To do list:
  • Servis motor
  • Tukar duit
  • Daftar wisuda
  • cuci toilet
Must stay cool whatever happen. 
Must keep cool.
Strong like the mountain. 
Swift like the wind. 
Wisdom like the open sky.
Rage like the river flow.

thats all..

Why would they open?

**Gave you all I had but you tossed it in the trash..**

But darling..
I'd still catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of train for you
You know I'd do anything for you

thats all..

Time is running out

Its Monday already and 3 days break had gone so fast. Football? You went to the wrong place. I know we just won 1st leg of the final AFF Suzuki Cup but I'm not here to tell the story of it. After dozen of thinking I finally make up my mind about my future. What is it? Sure to tell it later. Got some work to do first.

thats all..

Thrown away

Sometimes you just have to smile, 
pretend everythings okay, \
hold back the tears and just walk away..
Its happened again.
I can't think straight. 
I don't know what should I do.
Its the same all over again.

thats all..

Happy Birthday Yumi!

I'm not sure if she likes it. But I'm happy when she smile. I don't know what gift I should get her. I don't want it to be too fancy but not anything too cheap. Surely not a doll or a flower. Maybe a chocolate or a keychain would do.
On second thought, is it okay if I give her cards and flower instead??
I can't make up my mind right now. Hurmm..

thats all..

In me head

I'm tired.

Need more sleep.

Where is everybody?

I can eat a whole cow right now.

I want Slurpee drink.

thats all...

No one can change in a day!

Yesterday I cleaned up my room and started to arrange all my stuff. When everything seems to be in place, I've planned to make some schedule so that I would remember more of stuffs. But its another work that takes forever to be done. Where to start? Making a list or make a table first?Write it on paper or just type it in computer? Use a plain paper or a fancy one?
What the heck??!!
This is funny. That "Bon" is me in the game. Then there is Yumira as my costumer waiting for dishes to be served. LOL. I accidentally saw this and make a screen capture. So here it is. Still smiling each time I see this.

thats all..

Got some money?

I think I've overspent some money and now I really in a tight belly. What a ridiculous amount of money you have to use for clinical in USU. Almost every month now, I have to ask for more money. I don't know where else I can find some..
And for some reason I felt tired almost everyday even if I didn't do any work. I got to manage things better after this.

Get to sleep early. Get enough sleep. Eat properly. Wear clean clothes. Do some readings. Pray on time. Get rid of miscellaneous. Prepare early. Build up some muscle. Drink more water. Don't forget to brush teeth. Put on sunblock. Call parent every weeks. And so on.

thats all..


What motivates you?
I need some..or maybe all of it!!

thats all...

Almost tiring

Got plenty of work loaded because I had some of them delayed until recently. When everything have to be done ASAP, thats when my brain can't handle it anymore. As usual when entering new departemen in USU, we had to take test to evaluate our basic knowledge about what we're gonna work. So tomorrow is that day and I have not read even a single note yet. Lets work out tonight and wish it to be better tomorrow, as always.

I leave this here.
Its almost a week since I last chat with her. Its gonna be weird when we start chatting again. lol

thats all..

Another day

We went paintball-ing last weekend. Still excited to hold that gun again. This has been a very tiring day for me. After playing futsal Saturday night, that noon we went to play paintball. Its still not enough, so we played futsal again tonight. So all things lead to me being exhausted. I need a long rest tomorrow.
This is the only picture of me taken that day. Because I am the only one got out early in both game. Its enough though.

thats all..

The Unexpected

When a girl you like and really had connection with just left you for other girl what makes you?
Every day of weeks seems to spark a bit of romance and then she started to get into you. Just when you thought she will be yours, a girl came and take her away.
Nothing else. She just gay.

thats all..


She’s so tiny. So cute. Little peeks of skin where her shirt rides up. I’ll bet it’s soft, smooth.
I could pick her up, hold her up with no effort. I would be gentle, so very gentle. O how I would stroke that small space between breasts, run my hand from her knee, up her thigh, around her hip to rest on the small of her back. I would rest my forehead in the small valley made by the soft mounds of her breasts. My fingers would trace up her spine, barely touching. I would move closer, pull her in, her lean figure pressed against my great bloated gut.
The feel of it, the warmth…
I would move my face, trace a line up her body, kiss her lightly, trace the insides of her lips with my tongue. I would trace back down her body with the bottom of the tip of my tongue, down to her breasts. I would kiss her nipples, suck them into my mouth, roll them against my lips with my tongue. She would sit, on the edge of the seat, me kneeling in front of her. I would slip my hands under her knees, slide them up my arms until they came to rest on my shoulders. I would bury my nose in her pubic hair and extend my tongue, curl it between those tender lips. I would spin my tongue, move it down, drill into the soft tunnel, explore as far as I could, lap up the sweet juice, attack the clitoris, purse my lips and suck it into my mouth. I would bathe that sensitive little nubbin with the tip, sides, top and bottom of my blasphemous tongue. As she came, I would pummel the clit, flicking as on flicks a lightswitch. As she sat, panting, I would once more plunge my tongue into her velvet tunnel, cup my tongue and pull the nectar of her orgasm into my mouth, swallow it all in a gulp. I would and poke once at the cute little asterisks of her asshole, bring my head up and kiss her wet lips.
I would lower her legs, letting her feet rest on the floor. I would kiss her sweet little bellybutton, then pull her head down and kiss her forehead.

Gegar hati

 suaramu jika dicampak ke lautan,
pasti terhenti geloranya.
suaramu jika ditebar pada angin,
pasti patah sayapnya.
suaramu jika dihembus pada bara,
pasti terpadam rindunya.
suaramu jika membaca syairku,
pasti lebur sepinya.
kerna suaramu ada dalam jiwaku.
-persis minda

thats all..


I've been wondering why stalker exist?
There is one delusion in human called de Clérambault's syndrome.
The person who suffered from this syndrome easily fall in love. They believes that another person, usually a stranger or famous person, is in love with him or her.

thats all..