I only tell once

I feel so tired for the past couple days. I woke up this morning and I feels like I wanna cry so bad but didn't know for what. I held my tears in because its weird to cry for nothing. Assuming I'm gonna screw up something later, I woke up lazy. I don't have the mood to do anything.

Its end of the year for 2010. So much memory of this year I treasured. Every end of years I wish I could go back in time and right things out. It never been granted.
*****************So long 2010***************
****************Welcome 2011*****************

I hope this new year will come with more luck and girls!! lol

thats all..

Lost in time

I should have dressed for work right now but here I am trying to sketch something with nothing in my head. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to write anymore.
To do list:
  • Servis motor
  • Tukar duit
  • Daftar wisuda
  • cuci toilet
Must stay cool whatever happen. 
Must keep cool.
Strong like the mountain. 
Swift like the wind. 
Wisdom like the open sky.
Rage like the river flow.

thats all..

Why would they open?

**Gave you all I had but you tossed it in the trash..**

But darling..
I'd still catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of train for you
You know I'd do anything for you

thats all..

Time is running out

Its Monday already and 3 days break had gone so fast. Football? You went to the wrong place. I know we just won 1st leg of the final AFF Suzuki Cup but I'm not here to tell the story of it. After dozen of thinking I finally make up my mind about my future. What is it? Sure to tell it later. Got some work to do first.

thats all..

Thrown away

Sometimes you just have to smile, 
pretend everythings okay, \
hold back the tears and just walk away..
Its happened again.
I can't think straight. 
I don't know what should I do.
Its the same all over again.

thats all..

Happy Birthday Yumi!

I'm not sure if she likes it. But I'm happy when she smile. I don't know what gift I should get her. I don't want it to be too fancy but not anything too cheap. Surely not a doll or a flower. Maybe a chocolate or a keychain would do.
On second thought, is it okay if I give her cards and flower instead??
I can't make up my mind right now. Hurmm..

thats all..

In me head

I'm tired.

Need more sleep.

Where is everybody?

I can eat a whole cow right now.

I want Slurpee drink.

thats all...

No one can change in a day!

Yesterday I cleaned up my room and started to arrange all my stuff. When everything seems to be in place, I've planned to make some schedule so that I would remember more of stuffs. But its another work that takes forever to be done. Where to start? Making a list or make a table first?Write it on paper or just type it in computer? Use a plain paper or a fancy one?
What the heck??!!
This is funny. That "Bon" is me in the game. Then there is Yumira as my costumer waiting for dishes to be served. LOL. I accidentally saw this and make a screen capture. So here it is. Still smiling each time I see this.

thats all..

Got some money?

I think I've overspent some money and now I really in a tight belly. What a ridiculous amount of money you have to use for clinical in USU. Almost every month now, I have to ask for more money. I don't know where else I can find some..
And for some reason I felt tired almost everyday even if I didn't do any work. I got to manage things better after this.

Get to sleep early. Get enough sleep. Eat properly. Wear clean clothes. Do some readings. Pray on time. Get rid of miscellaneous. Prepare early. Build up some muscle. Drink more water. Don't forget to brush teeth. Put on sunblock. Call parent every weeks. And so on.

thats all..


What motivates you?
I need some..or maybe all of it!!

thats all...

Almost tiring

Got plenty of work loaded because I had some of them delayed until recently. When everything have to be done ASAP, thats when my brain can't handle it anymore. As usual when entering new departemen in USU, we had to take test to evaluate our basic knowledge about what we're gonna work. So tomorrow is that day and I have not read even a single note yet. Lets work out tonight and wish it to be better tomorrow, as always.

I leave this here.
Its almost a week since I last chat with her. Its gonna be weird when we start chatting again. lol

thats all..

Another day

We went paintball-ing last weekend. Still excited to hold that gun again. This has been a very tiring day for me. After playing futsal Saturday night, that noon we went to play paintball. Its still not enough, so we played futsal again tonight. So all things lead to me being exhausted. I need a long rest tomorrow.
This is the only picture of me taken that day. Because I am the only one got out early in both game. Its enough though.

thats all..

The Unexpected

When a girl you like and really had connection with just left you for other girl what makes you?
Every day of weeks seems to spark a bit of romance and then she started to get into you. Just when you thought she will be yours, a girl came and take her away.
Nothing else. She just gay.

thats all..


She’s so tiny. So cute. Little peeks of skin where her shirt rides up. I’ll bet it’s soft, smooth.
I could pick her up, hold her up with no effort. I would be gentle, so very gentle. O how I would stroke that small space between breasts, run my hand from her knee, up her thigh, around her hip to rest on the small of her back. I would rest my forehead in the small valley made by the soft mounds of her breasts. My fingers would trace up her spine, barely touching. I would move closer, pull her in, her lean figure pressed against my great bloated gut.
The feel of it, the warmth…
I would move my face, trace a line up her body, kiss her lightly, trace the insides of her lips with my tongue. I would trace back down her body with the bottom of the tip of my tongue, down to her breasts. I would kiss her nipples, suck them into my mouth, roll them against my lips with my tongue. She would sit, on the edge of the seat, me kneeling in front of her. I would slip my hands under her knees, slide them up my arms until they came to rest on my shoulders. I would bury my nose in her pubic hair and extend my tongue, curl it between those tender lips. I would spin my tongue, move it down, drill into the soft tunnel, explore as far as I could, lap up the sweet juice, attack the clitoris, purse my lips and suck it into my mouth. I would bathe that sensitive little nubbin with the tip, sides, top and bottom of my blasphemous tongue. As she came, I would pummel the clit, flicking as on flicks a lightswitch. As she sat, panting, I would once more plunge my tongue into her velvet tunnel, cup my tongue and pull the nectar of her orgasm into my mouth, swallow it all in a gulp. I would and poke once at the cute little asterisks of her asshole, bring my head up and kiss her wet lips.
I would lower her legs, letting her feet rest on the floor. I would kiss her sweet little bellybutton, then pull her head down and kiss her forehead.

Gegar hati

 suaramu jika dicampak ke lautan,
pasti terhenti geloranya.
suaramu jika ditebar pada angin,
pasti patah sayapnya.
suaramu jika dihembus pada bara,
pasti terpadam rindunya.
suaramu jika membaca syairku,
pasti lebur sepinya.
kerna suaramu ada dalam jiwaku.
-persis minda

thats all..


I've been wondering why stalker exist?
There is one delusion in human called de Clérambault's syndrome.
The person who suffered from this syndrome easily fall in love. They believes that another person, usually a stranger or famous person, is in love with him or her.

thats all..

Oh baby

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You feel like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
thats all..

Stop now

I gonna put a stop for this madness for awhile. Things seems to be out of bound and I really don't want to add mischief to my life.

So I will forget everything about girl for now. I hope to regain my top form as soon as possible.

thats all..

Perfect weather

Its a chill windy evening with a clear sky above. What more could I ask for...
I leave this here..

thats all...

I think that looks cute :3

What kind of pick up line would work out for a girl such as her??
- I need a direction..[to where?] ..your heart ♥
- Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night ♥
- Do you have a map? I getting lost in your eyes ♥
- I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking? ♥
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good? ♥
thats all..

Event for event

Here in Indonesia, they are celebrating Teacher's day today. In my country we celebrate it in the mid year, 16th of May. That particular day resembles a very important moment of my past. Anyway, Happy Teacher's day to all teachers in Indonesia!

thats all.. 


Every time I open my fb, I can't help myself but to open this girl's page. Does that make me a stalker? =P

Lol. I guess I am a stalker then. ^^.

thats all..
p/s: this girl just happen to be my type..guess nothing wrong with that right..=)

Its Real!!

I had a nightmare last night. I can't get that dream of my mind. Its about a girl that obsessed with me and turned out she's a ghost. She kept haunted me every where I go. When there's a girl I get close on, she shut her up with scary faces. Eventually I tried to run away from her but its just no use. Because she's a ghost. Fortunately, I woke up just before she tried to curse me to death.

But bad things kept on coming. There at FKG we had anniversary for our faculty and one of the activity is repeling which we use rope to descent from top floor. Lucky for us because the tallest building is only 3 storey high. But there's this one girl had a worst day in her life.
When she was about to descent, she got scared and can't put herself together. Things don't turn out so well as she fling over and turned upside down in the middle of the rope. I didn't know what's went wrong but she let go of the rope she supposed to hold and just a second later she crashed into the floor from that height with face down. Some guys rushed in to help her. So do I. She bleeds from her nose and half of her face already covered with blood. Then there's screaming and yelling with tears on the eyes of all the witnesses. Everybody couldn't believe what just happen. Everything happened in a split second and nothing can be done to help her. The girl then being rushed to the nearest hospital to emergency treatment. Everyone pointing fingers to the instructor for that mistake but he denied it. He said its that girl fault for letting off the rope. Yeah. Like who's gonna believe you now.

When I get home the first thing come to my mind was Yumira. I wonder if she's okay. Something bad might just happen anytime. I wanted to say to her that I will catch her if she ever fall. I will.
Of all the things that happened today, I still can't believe something like that should happen. If they take safety measure completely, nothing like this could have happen.

That moment she crashed on the ground still fresh in my mind until now. I hope I can sleep well tonight.

thats all..

tell me

"When you fall in love and break up so many times, the cupid arrow just won't rest on your heart anymore, bcoz there won't be anything but a big hole and shattered pieces..."-Anon-

 so Tell me why this hurts so much...

thats all...

Earth stood still

"Injured and too tired to think,
but still her presence appear in my eyes..."

thats all...

Empty apartemen

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

thats all...

From here we start..

I leave this here =)

thats all...

cupid and who??

thats all..

Girls and more girls

"when I see your face 
there's nothing that I would change,
coz your beautiful 
just the way you are"

thats all...

Happy birthday to Me..:)

"kasihku jangan kau bohongi aku
kerna ku benar-benar cinta kepada mu
kuharap jangan kau tinggal kan aku 
kerna aku cintai mu selamanya"

thats all...

Thats all that I can do

"Malam itu aku merisik alam maya, bertanyakan khabar rembulan dan suria,
Apakah masih aku di ingatan setelah lama aku bersendiri?
Mungkinkah tiada lagi tempat untuk memuja meski hati ini merindu,
Moga segalanya ada seperti waktu itu. 
Waktu yang masih tersimpan kemas menjadi ingatan indah
Mengulit mimpiku setiap malam.."

Dah abis kat Departmen Oral Surgery, masuk pula kat Departmen Oral Medicine. Kat sini cuma 4 minggu je. Itu pun kerja macam senang skit. Takde nak kena pakai skill macam kat OS dulu. Cuma kena banyak baca buku and pandai diagnose je. Hopefully kat sini boleh dapat ilmu dengan lebih banyak lagi. Mudah mudahan dipermudahkan segala urusan.

thats all...

Bila ada rasa cemburu

Dalam dunia ni mmg banyak ujian dan cobaan. Kadang-kadang ada masa susah, kadang-kadang ada masa senang. Tapi tak selamanya kita tetap pada satu keadaan je, *pic related - Julu kalah fifa stret 3x dengan Aimaan*

Apsal dalam dunia ni ada orang cakap tapi tak serupa bikin?
Lepas tu ada pula cakap orang lain buruk segala macam tapi diri sendiri tak mau lihat ada tak buruknya?
Tak kira lagi yang asyik cakap besar tapi kerja entah ke mana.

Kenapa lah mesti ada orang macam tu kat keliling aku? Yang kanan tak puas hati kat kiri, yang kiri susah hati tengok yang kanan senang.
Oh kawan-kawanku~
Oh Sahabatku~

thats all..


Bila lagi nak siap kat Oral Surgery nih?? Pasien pun dah takde dah..pastu bila dah ujung2 nih memang ramai sikit yang tunjuk evil side. Sorang suka main tipu2. Sorang lagi nak main potong line lak. Yang lain makin huru hara. Makin ke sudah tak abis nanti. Sila la ada pasien ya Ubai.

For all the things I've done wrong, I put my heart for an ocean of forgiveness from you..

thats all..

Born day

Its October. Then will come November. As time never stop ticking, there is moment where we celebrate our happiness with the people we care and who care for us. October 17th was when Sara has been born 23 years ago. October 19th as today 25 years ago, a little girl name Sri Fajarni brought smiles upon this world. October 22nd just a couple days away and on that day Hidir was born.

Happy birthday to all of you!~~
May every coming years fill with bless and joy..

thats all..

Take my empty mind

If you wonder around my life you'd probably got bored and killed yourself right away. Instead of moving forward, it looks like I'm stuck at one spot and can't move on. There is nothing that can completely motivate me. As for now I felt like lying under the ocean bed and just sleep.
How did everything turned out this way???

thats all...


     Just as things getting tougher and tougher, I realize that I'm not that strong anymore to handle all these pressures. Sometimes I got stressed out so badly I'm feeling like raging around. I just keep hold of myself because I know deep inside me there is a person who always smile even if the world hates him.

Maybe a vacation would be great. But when will I have the chance? I just spurred out what comes into my mind right now. Even in reality what I wrote here is not what I feel, I'm sure I will read this again someday. And I hope when that day comes, I'm already that person I wanted to be. A smiley-man.

thats all...

photoShoot 10-10-10

Finally I got times to take some pic with my frens. I made this plan for some times ago but never had a chance until yesterday. So we posed at this wall and its really quite a wall.

I hope I can do better afterward. Need more practice!~

thats all..

Bed of roses

"setiap insan pasti merasakan maut"~

Maybe because I'm too tired or maybe it just a bad night, but the dream I had last night was totally a freak one. It makes me see where I'm standing all this time, where my path lead me and where I really wanted to go.

Oh Almighty God, I am a sinful son of Adam with nothing but all the richness and healthy you've given me. Forgive me!~

thats all..

Minimum Requirement


Berat betul bila sebut "Minimum Requirement" nih..Ada lagi 10 lagi gigi nak kene cabut baru setel MinReq nih. Lepas tu nak kejar assistant dosen dan assistant mahasiswa lagi..berat2

tuh la die borang yang kene isi kalau nak keluar nnt. harap-harap la penuh semua..^^

thats all..

Apa mauku?

I wanted to see more of these girls..be part of my life if possible..lol =)
so its that simple..what I want is too many.
Nothing would satisfy a human desire. When you get what you wanted the most, then you will want another thing and this thing kept on and on.

thats all..

Extraction Distraction

Verse 1:
    Dah sebulan lebih masuk Dep Oral Surgery. Masa yang tinggal pun tinggal sebulan je lagi. Orang cakap kat sini paling senang dan tak ada orang yang sangkut. Tapi nampak gayanya macam kali ini mesti ada yang sangkutnyalah.

Verse 2:
    Sebelum raya hari tu rajin cari pasien sebab nak siapkan OD tapi dapat satu je. Sekarang dah macam malas nak cari sendiri sebab tu kerja pun macam SIPUT!! Orang lain dah ada 9-10 pencabutan, aku terhegeh-hegeh dengan 4 radiks lagi.

   Skripsi oh skripsi...selama hidupku tak pernah aku tangguhkan kerja sampai 2 bulan macam ni. Kenapa la kau tak nak keluar dari hidup aku. Setiap malam aku doa supaya bila aku bangun esok, dosen aku akan mesej untuk bertemu. Tapi itu hanyalah mimpi dalam anganku. Semoga segalanya dipermudahkan seadanya.

  Amal ibadah makin payah nak jaga. Quran dah lama tak baca. Gitar boleh plak hari-hari main. Jaulah asyik miss je. Kadang-kadang tu banyak masa kosong tap mata berat sikit je terus tidur. Masa tak pernah nak manage betul-betul. Duit keluar masuk tak ingat plak nak catat. List down everything first..so you won't lost track.

Rasa-rasanya aku boleh berubah tak?? ಠ_ಠ

thats all...

Happy Eid

Wahhh..banyak btol leh makan ni..dari stat balik umah xhenti-henti mengunyah..tapi ade plak sampingan dia..kene keje lebih skit..tolong kemas sane..tolong kemas sini..huh..penat gak..

Unfortunately xsempat amik gambar ramai2 yang formal..ade je yang nak nyibuk..so ni la gmbr yang agak nostalgik skit..hehe

Cuti lame lagi nih..ade la 6 hari lagi before kene balik medan..so better enjoy~!!!

thats all...

Idul fitr

Balik kampung~ OooOoo~ Balik kampung~
Hati riang~

Lagu raya dah dekat seminggu dah bermain kat corong radio. Setiap hari ada saja yang nak buat ucapan raya walaupun raya belum mula lagi. Esok bermulalah hari kemenangan bagi umat Islam setelah sebulan berpuasa menahan lapar dan dahaga. Sedih juga bila fikir Ramadan dah nak habis. Tapi kita doa lah semoga kita dapat sampai kepada Ramadan seterusnya. Mudah-mudahan. Amin~

Lastly I like to wish every Muslims around the world Happy Eid. May God always bless us with richness of health and forgiveness. Amin~

thats all...

Empty Clinic

Flight pkl 1.15 pm nnt tapi sekarang ni masih ada kat fkg sebab nak kena siapkan OD lagi sorang pasien. Lepas ni balik raya dah tak payah pikir apa dah. Dah la sorang2 je kat sini. Sebab datang awal sangat.

Kalau Dosen tak datang jugak hari ni, aku rasa raya aku tak berapa nak best sangat kot. So tolong la dosen sila lah datang acc buku diagnosa saya.

Nanti lepas raya maybe akan diadakan futsal piala konjen. Huff~! Kena siapkan diri dari sekarang ni.

thats all...

too late?!

Macam banyak masa terbuang macam tu je..

Tak siap lagi:
- Skripsi
- OD pasien

DateLine: Tuesday!!

thats all..

blocking mind

Things that will made me regret:
1) Tak dengar cakap parent (paling degil dalam family mmg aku sorg je)
2) Gaduh dengan adik tym balik cuti
3) Tak study betol2 (smua org pun same kot)
4) Terlepas cakap yang tak patut dicakapkan, then tak cakap bila perlu cakap..(coward sey)
5) Bila terlepas waktu solat (esp Subuh..)
6) Tido lambat walaupun esok kene bangun awal (macam skrg ni la..)
7) Kerja yang ada masa banyak boleh siapkan tapi still last minit baru nak terkejar-kejar..
8) Bila kejar dunia gila2 sampai terlepas peluang nak dapat manfaat untuk akhirat..
9) Pandang slack kat orang lain but turns out orang tu sebenarnya baik...
10) Tak dapat spend masa banyak utk berkhidmat ibu ayah..
11) balik umah tym cuti tak urut n picit kaki ayah
12) tak dapat kluar jemaah walaupun sehari
13) terlepas jaulah sebab keluar makan dengan pompuan mane ntah..
14) ..................

bayak lagi kot..tapi xyah la tulih smua..dah lambat dah ni nak tido..gud nite~!

thats all...