Cupid arrows

1. The arrow sails right through: The result is falling madly in love, albeit briefly, with the first person you see. This can be quite embarrassing in the short term as running up to someone on the street, shouting "I love you!" and grabbing a boob or a crotch is generally frowned upon. However this causes no long term damage to the heart.

2. The arrow glances the heart and cuts it: This is initially very painful. The heart becomes very tender and leads to drunken whining along the lines of "Why don't you love me?" *Sob*. Fortunately the affect usually wears off by morning.

3. The arrow hits the heart but bounces off, leaving a bruise: This is a simple Do-you-want-to-go-out-sometime?-No-thanks situation, rather than a Do-you-want-to-go-out-sometime?-Ewww-you-make-me-want-to-shove-my-fingers-down-my-throat-I-have-to-go-take-several-showers-to-get-rid-of-the-grossness-of-being-asked-out-by-you! type scenario. Again there is no long term damage, but you should take care with the heart for a while, because it will be a bit sore.

4. The arrow digs in, but snaps off leaving a fragment in the heart: This can be quite nasty. This happens when you ask someone out and they say yes, but rapidly lose interest. Ultimately it doesn't cause too much damage, but it's a bit annoying.

5. The arrow tears a chunk off the heart: The hole means that you are susceptible to developing huge crushes based on physical infatuation. If dealt with correctly this isn't a problem, it only becomes so if you leave the wound open to the elements. Most cases of stalking are a result of carelessness in this area.

6. The heart gets mangled: This happens during messy break ups. In this case Cupid got the shot right, unfortunately your chosen love decides to pull the arrow out with the delicacy of an elephant doing decoupage. This causes mass tissue damage and the heart struggles to survive. It's all kinds of painful.

7. Critical Fault: This is the worst. Cupid again is right on target, but unfortunately the arrow snags on something and is yanked out through the top causing a crack. It's circumstances beyond Cupid's your or anyone else control – it's just a bitch. If not treated carefully the heart can break in two and become completely useless. The common response to this eventuality is to go "ow! ow! ow-ee! ow-ee! ow!

thats all..