Skipping class

I would say my self-worth is directly linked to how often I skip classes. I just feel so bad about it. My parents are paying in cash for my ENTIRE college education, room, board, tuition, books, everything and it’s EXPENSIVE. Whenever I skip class I think of all the people who wish they had my kind of opportunities. I think of all the people who work hard in school and deserve my parents’ money more than I do.

Also, I skip class, and then naturally I do worse on the tests for those classes and I realize how 100% my fault it is and start kicking myself. I mean how insane is that, you pay for the classes and then you don’t even attend?! It’s so dumb of me, but somehow it’s like I just can’t get my act together, like I’ll stay up late working on some project and then sleep through my first class or two accidentally, and then I’ve procrastinated on the assignment for the class that I can still go to, so I start working on it, and then I don’t finish in time, and then I feel guilty about being unprepared, so I just avoid the situation and skip it.

I know it’s ridiculous, but it’s so easy to not go. And then afterwards I just feel sick about the whole thing and about myself. My parents are like “why are your grades low?” and I always complain about classes being hard, and they are, but good grades aren’t unachievable. Even in my hardest classes, SOMEONE is making an A because they’re putting in the effort. That person needs to be me.